Monday, July 14, 2014

Happy this week

Happy This Week


Here we go again! Another day to reflect the past week and what has made me happy this week.


** Gorgeous weather! Warm days and cool nights. What more could you ask for!?!

** Lucas had his first sleepover at a friends house Wednesday night. Ok so maybe I took it hard (pathetic I know! Lol) but he was so happy so how couldn't I be?

** The perfect watermelon! Yes this makes me happy! So ripe, red, sweet and juicy!... Yummmmmm!

** Lucas had a house full of kids basically all week. I love him having friends over. Lucas and a bunch of kids piled into our pool and swam. Floating between the pool and jumping on the trampoline.!

** Tesla concert Friday night! Amazinggggg as always! I love Telsa! The singers voice and way he moves. He's awesome! Great show, and we were so close!!

** I bought Justin Moore tickets for july 27th!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woo hoo!! Super psyched (if you can't tell!)

** Saturday my good friend Helen and I went out for her birthday. We went to Carmels listened to a buddy of ours DJ, had some margaritas and good food. Went out after, had way to much to drink, met new people, and had lots of laughs!... Had a couple stalkers lol, but I held my own. Makes ya feel good getting hit on though. Atleast I know someone still is interested in how I look lol.

** Sunday was our 2 year wedding Anniversary. We went to Gratzi's in Ann Arbor. Got all dressed up and had an amazing meal. I ordered mussels, scallops, and shrimp linguine in a pesto sauce. Yum! It's nice to have a fancy dinner where you never been at a REAL Italian resturant! Had a nice very nice meal! From the appetizer, salad, main course to the dessert it was all amazing! Before it was a resturant it was an old theatre, gorgeous inside.!

Appetizer.. Cured meat, cheeses, and grilles veggies.

Yummy salad!How amazing does this pasta dish look! My faveeeee!


Trimasu... So good!!

Waiter took our pic at dinner.


Gorgeous view!


** I had the weekend off! Probably last one for awhile! Boo!


Myself again.

Yesterday was my 2nd wedding anniversary. We keep it simple when it comes to gifts. When we got married I told Lee I wanted to do the traditional gifts. It is the creative, quirky gifts that mean the most. This year was cotton. I spent like $20 on his gift... A tshirt that said. "I love my hot wife" lol. I bought it awhile ago.

So when I came down stairs with his gift, on the counter sat 2 gift bags... And one was quite big. I immediately said "I thought we were keeping it simple?" So he tells me one was a last minute gift and I would understand when I opened it. He opened his first.. Now my turn. He tells me to open the smaller of the two. A pink leather journal that I can bend... Yeah I understood immediately, he said the other one sets it off..mNext up the big bag.... Fire proof lock box. Keys and digital code. Now it really makes sense. He looked at me and told me how bad it made him feel when I told him he took a part of me away when I quit writing because I couldn't trust him to read my journal again. Best gift ever.

I absolutely love to write. Not being able to for so many years has definately killed a part of me. Now I will be able to write without worry that someone will read my writing. I like to blog, sure.... But writing on paper with ink is an amazing feeling.



I now want to take a drive out to Maumee Bay and sit with my journal, a pen, and my thoughts while listening to the water crash against the shore. Hopefully I'll be able to take a drive out there and write... Take pictures. Just me, myself and I. Journal, camera, and my thoughts. Maybe even a coffee and sunrise.

I feel like I gained a part of myself back. I lost that years ago when I found out my husband, then boyfriend was reading my journal. My personal thoughts that I didn't want to share with anyone else but myself. I never wrote again. I can now unlock my thoughts and lock them up under code and key.


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Better at the show!

One great thing about warmer weather, more concerts!!! I have quite the line up so far! Just seen Chevelle at Hollywood casino. Fantastic show! I love their music and they put on one hell of a show! This Friday we are going to see Tesla. I LOVE Tesla!... Seen them last year at The Quarry. Same place almost same date as last year lol. July 27th I just bought Justin Moore tickets!! Eeeeekkkk! One of my top 3 favorites! Seen him a few times and I just love him! Not a song he sings I don't like! On Juky 30th I am taking Lex to see Panic at the Disco. I can't believe they even are still out and making new music and touring. One of her favorite bands. So her and I will be driving to Cleveland for her first concert! I'm so excited to go on a girls road trip! August 8th is Ted Nugent at the Rib-Off... Yummy! We go every year. Get a group of friends together, eat a ton of ribs, drink some beer and listen to some rock! On September 1 is Lee Brice and Cole Swindell. First time seeing both! Awesome!!! Then on October 11 is my Florida Georgia Line and Jason Aldean concert! Woooooooo hoooooo! That's the big one I'm super psyched about! Them and my Justin Moore. Hopefully there will be a few other ones thrown in there.

I love concerts! I love the music, the experience seeing the words brought to life in front of you. One of my all time favorite things to do! I have seen so many bands. My first concert was with my dad when I was in the 5th grade. He took me to see Ted Nugent and Alice Cooper. Actually kind of funny because Ted Nugent was my dads first concer, my sisters was also Ted Nugent and we are 15 years apart. I think that's pretty weird. I did have a great time with my dad. I was hooked ever since!

My mom loves Nickelback and Staind as well so for 2 of the Nickelback shows I took her and all o3 times I seen Staind I took her. She loved it and had a blast. She's not a big concert person anymore but it was nice to get her to them.

I took Lucas to his first concert last year but we had to leave to take Lee to the emergency room so he didn't get to see it. We had tickets to Brett michaels. I'm hoping to take him to KISS. He calls them blood guy and loves the, lol. Or Godsmack.

So far I have seen a wide variety of musicians. I'm going to try to list most of them. I've seen so many I know I will leave some out lol.

Ted Nugent (4x), Alice Cooper, Blessed Union of Souls, Nsync, 3LW, Staind (3x), Nickelback (4x), Three Days Grace (5x), Slayer, Mudvayne, Default, Jerry Cantrell (Alice in chains), Five Finger Death Punch, Linkin Park, The Used, Tool, Snoop Dogg, Kid Rock, Dierks Bentley, Chevelle, Saliva, Godsmack (2x), Tim McGraw, Luke Bryan, The Band Perry, Darius Rucker, Easton Corbin, Blake Shelton (2x), Brad Paisley, Justin Moore (3x), KISS (2x), Finch, Buck Cherry (2x), Tesla (2x), Sabastian Bach (skid row), Papa Roach.


I know there are more but I'm drawing a blank on some lol. Wish I could find my binder of tickets!


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

I'm the kind of girl

I'm the kind of girl who can lounge around in yoga pants and a comfy shirt, cuddle up on the couch with my book and a cup of coffee when I first wake up. Or cuddle up with a blanket and watch a movie at night. I'm the kind of girl who loves getting dressed up for a nice night out. I'm the kind of girl who loves dresses but also loves jeans and a tank. I'm the kind of girl that loves getting my nails done but doesn't mind getting them dirty. I'm the kind of girl who likes to kiss in the rain. I'm the kind of girl who enjoys hearing laughter from others. I'm the kind of girl who loves going out on a Sunday all decked out in my Lions gear to watch football, eat some greasy food and drink a beer! I'm the kind of girl who enjoys a good chick flick but would totally watch a gory scary movie after. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't mind going fishing, baiting a hook, and taking the fish off the line. I'm the kind of girl that loves being held when I need to cry. I'm the kind of girl who is independent but also likes to know that someone wants to take care of me. I'm the type of girl when I'm sick I want to be babied. I'm the type of girl who loves animals of any sort. I'm the kind of girl who has a big heart and loves with everything. I'm the kind of girl that wants kids all around me. I'm the kind of girl who is always there when someone needs me. I'm the kind of girl that when I need something know one is around. I'm the kind of girl that enjoys making someone happy.mim the kind of girl that loves to shop! Not just for myself but for others! I'm the kind of girl that is always thinking about other peoples feelings before my own. I'm the kind of girl who always thinks of others and puts others before myself. I'm the kind of girl that can always make other people happy but not myself. I'm the kind of girl that more than anything just wants to be happy.

Different quotes

Just some quotes that I like that all hit home in some way or another.








Saturday, July 5, 2014

It all went away

It just amazes me how you can go from being so close with someone to being on a level of speaking to each other with nothing but awkwardness. How does a 20 year friendship just disappear?

I never was the type of person to change myself for someone else. I didn't ditch my friends. I didn't change my personality, or the people I was friends with. Not only are you lying to yourself your lying to everyone else. If you can't be yourself around someone who says they love you, then they don't love the real you. They love the you that you became for them. Which isn't real. Eventually the real you comes out, then what? They either stay or leave. You could end up with nothing. You shouldn't have to be someone you aren't.

We told each other everything, we did everything together. We could be somewhere and see something and look at each other and know exactly what we were both thinking. Knowing the past, all the memories, the good and the bad, being able to tell when something is wrong when others can't. Being there in a snap when you need to talk or are upset. Right by your side for everything. That's what friends are. Not someone who will be at the bar when you want to party.

When your mom was dying who was up at the hospital all night with you right by your side. She was my second mom. I wanted to be there with you. Your my sister. You cried in my arms when they took her off life support. Went into work with no sleep, worried all day about you. Out of everyone during the funeral you wanted me right behind you. That means something!!!

We have been through so much together. You were there for me the night Dan went nuts with the gun and cops were called. Crap it was your cousin who defended me. You helped me pack up 2 cars of what I could fit the next day when I left him. You were right there with it all. I cried to you and vented to you.

We have so many happy and fun memories. We definately have our share of bad ones also but we are more like sisters than best friends. Both on a full week off work and we seen each other once. ONCE!! And we barely spoke. Your birthday dinner hit me hard. You really don't care. You really don't care you are throwing 20 years of friendship away! How?? We are both god mothers to each others children, we were each others maid of honors, you were there when I delivered Lucas, you knew I was pregnant before Dan or my mom! How does this happen?? How does 20 years just slip away?

I miss us. I miss our goofy inside jokes only we understood. I miss talking to you everyday, I miss hanging out with you. I don't know what happened. I hope this is a phase and it isn't to late when you realize the one real person you had in your life isn't there anymore. I don't want to lose you, but I can't just sit on the sidelines waiting for you. I want my sister, my best friend back. I want the real you back. Not the you that you have become.


A little too much info!

~ I have a thing for bookmarks and ornaments!

~ Reading is my drug! If you know me you know that. It's an escape into another life, into another reality.

~ I wear only Victoria Secret bras and undies. They are super cute and amazingly comfy! I have am obsession with undies.

~ I'm nerdy in some ways.

~ Blue is my absolute favorite color, followed by pink of course

~ I'm a girly girl but I was always a tomboy growing up. I love guy stuff! I'm not your typical average girl.

~ I could eat Pizza everyday... Along with Mac n cheese! Yummm

~ Penguins are my fave Animal! Obsessed! Eeeeek!

~ I love any cute stuffed animal

~ Writing is a release for me. It's a way for me to release my thoughts, feelings, anger, depression etc...

~ I love taking pictures. Lucas hates it! Lol. I would love to go back into photography. Maybe take a class at Owens.

~ I lOVE anything superheroes. Movies, clothes, accessories anything! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman are by far my favorites! Always have been!

~ HUGE animal lover right here!

~ I like eating healthy.

~ But I love candy!

~ I hate pop. I don't let Lucas drink it, but on a rare occasion. I'd rather not have pop even in my house.

~ I'm an Irish girl, which means I'm a beer drinking girl!

~ Lucas is my life! I tend to be obsessed with him. Lol. But he's my one and only. Followed by Lucas is princess Harlie. She's my little fatty fat. Can't imagine not having her. I got her a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant.

~ I battle depression on a daily basis. Some days are worse than others, but most days I hide it pretty well.

~ my phone is my bad addiction.

~ I love shooting my bow!! It's so calming. One day I would love to go hunting.

~ I'm not a super adventurous person. I have a hard time with change and going out of my comfort zone but it doesn't stop me from trying new things. I wish I was more adventurous but when it comes down to it I'm a worrier and chicken shit lol.

~ country music is the shit!!

~ My shows...for now that is lol are. Criminal Minds, Chicago Fire, Decious Maids, Duck Dynasty, and Castle. Thank goodness for DVR because sometimes it takes me weeks to watch them!

~ Love sports! Football (Lions), baseball (tigers) hockey (red wings) basketball (celtics)

~ sports I participate in- baseball, basketball, football, soccer, tennis, basketball, golf, batting cages, shooting guns, shooting my bow, fishing, bowling, tennis, running, I'm down with it all!

~ I love playing video games!!! Especially fighting ones. Or shooting. I love mortal kombat! all the batman games! call of duty. I'll play any of them once. Racing games also!

~ My eye sight sucks. Supposed to wear glasses but I don't.

~ I'm a terrible passenger. Car or plane!

~ I've never really traveled anywhere. Been on one vacation and that was to Cancun. But I would love to do more. I want to just drive and not have it planned and make random stops and see where I end up and what I see. To me that would be fun!

~ A trip to the beach seems like a vacation. Laying on a blanket in the sun with a book. Heaven!

~ Ever since my dad can remember I have been obsessed with visiting the Rocky Mountains. Only in Colorado though. I have no clue why! Lol

~ I want to own a farm with tons and tons of animals!

~ I'm a dreamer. Bad... And I day dream.. I drift away and dream. All. The. Time. Lol

~. I hate having all eyes on me. Which is why I didn't want a big wedding.

~ I can't dance, nor have any attention learning.

~ I HATE bugs!!!!!

~ I'm a good friend, i would do anything for my friends, I just never seem to get that in return.

~ I want to take drum lessons.

~ I love to cook! I love trying new recipes. Every week I am trying a new one.

~ I really would love to have another baby. I wanted 3 and I have 1. But I will settle for 2. I think it will kill me later if I only have 1. It's not something I can get passed, that feeling, that longing for another child. Lucas wasn't planned. I don't eant to plan my next either. It's scarier planning one than not planning it!



Thousands of words running through your mind. Questions that don't have any answers. The numb hollow feeling living inside your body day after day. Wishing, hoping, begging for some sort of normalcy. Faking a smile to please everyone around you. Knowing you can't begin to explain the thoughts piercing your soul. The feelings that rapidly run through your body. They wouldn't understand. Just look at you like your mad. Like something is wrong with you. There is. It's a deep sadness that you yourself doesn't even understand. That you don't even know how yo stop it or control it. You just want to scream, "do you think I enjoy this darkness? This sadness?" But you bottle these feelings up because what's the point? How will they understand when you don't?


Friday, July 4, 2014

What people don't understand

Having a child with ADHD pretty bad is hard enough to deal with at times. Having a child with other disorders makes it even harder. Lucas hasn't been fully evaluated yet but his pediatrician says mild Aspergers and (ASD) autistic spectrum disorder.

Lucas has been on many different meds since he was diagnosed with ADHD. At first his dad and I tried not medicating him. We knew at an early age he had it because I have it as well. I didn't want to medicate him. I know how those meds make you feel and the side effects of them. Unfortunately it got to the point he was having issues in school and we had no other choice but to go with meds. Each med he was on had different side effects we didn't like. Some he had emotional outbursts, he would be so happy one minute then the next he would burst out in tears crying or get so mad and angry. I've never seen him like that. Some he won't eat on, he would be a walking zombie, he had twitches, sleeplessness. All sorts of different problems. He still needs different meds but the meds he's on now atleast he still can be a normal kid with. Hopefully they will eventually find one that works for him.

Lucas has very rough days. Which makes us all have rough days. He still needs his evaluation from the behavior center, they will run tests and try to diagnose him the best they can. He will need to be put into therapy. He has anger issues and needs to learn how to learn to deal with all that's going on in his head. He can be very hard to handle at times. His emotions take over him. And it's hard to calm him down. Last night during fireworks I had to pin him down put my hand on his chest, focused his eyes on mine and kept repeating calm down. I eventually got him calm. While you have everyone around you staring at you thinking it's because he's just a bad kid.... When it's not the issue at all. It's because he has medical problems and is to young to understand them. He hasn't learned how to deal with them.

I think that's one of the most irritating things of all. When Lucas is having a meltdown in public and people stare and whisper and I'm sure are thinking what a bad mom I am or how horrible my son is. When in all reality they don't understand what he has. Or don't understand what he feels when he's having these meltdowns. I have been working on not letting the stares get to me. It makes me angry and gets my temper going and that's when I start to get heated and well me heated isn't good because that leads to a fight. Not something I need. I just focus on Lucas and getting him calm and focused. I'm still learning everyday on how to handle him and how to bring him back to being calm. It may be difficult but I can't imagine how difficult it is for him. That's what I try to remind myself. I have to change he way I handle situations to his needs. Not change him.

Although Lucas has ADHD and ASD and most likely a mild form of Aspergers. I wouldn't trade any of it for a child who doesn't have any of it. He can be hard to handle and it does get stressful, but he's unique. He's mine. It makes it all worth while when he says "mommy" or gives me hugs and kisses. When we are walking anywhere he he puts his little hand in mine, when he cuddles up with me on the couch, or draws me pictures all the time telling me how much he loves me and what a great mom I am. That makes it all worth the hard times. He can't control what's wrong with him. I just want to guide him the right way and help him learn. I have a smart love able little boy who is the love of my life and stole my heart the minute the doctor handed him to me in the delivery room.


Thursday, July 3, 2014

Throw back Thursday

Its fun looking back at all the pictures of the past and remembering all the memories and fun times. It always makes me sad seeing all Lucas's pictures from when he was little. I miss him being small, and it makes me realize how fast he's growing. But I do love looking back at all the fun things I've done with him and places I've taken him!

Lucas almost 3. So cute playing with his tool set! Oh how I wish I could go back to this age. So fun and curious!. I miss him being so little!

2 months after turning 2 years old. He was helping daddy with the yard work. So cute!!!

First day of preschool!. My big boy! 5 years old off to preschool at Regina Coeli. How adorable he looked!


Karate boy!.. Lucas loved karate! This was also taken when he was 5. I'm hoping to put him back into it if I con him into it lol.









Preschool graduation was so cute! They all dressed in red white and blue and sang songs. The they recieved their preschool diploma. After that they had ice cream sundaes for everyone, played a DVD of all the kids pictures throughout the year, and even handed one to all the parents! So cute!


My 26th birthday present from Lee. Detroit Lions tickets!!! They played the 49ers. Amazing game! Best game out of all sports by far I been to!! Had an amazing time. Love my Lions!!!


Lucas and I picking strawberries! Something different and fun to do. He had so much fun! He was 4 here.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Reading list for the summer

So many books... I could consume my days with books. It let's me escape reality and opens up a whole new world that I can explore with just a flip of a page. Open your mind and take an adventure. Sometimes I get in the mood to read a chic book. Where it makes me all giddy and takes me away to that fairy tale love that gets most girls. Lol. Yeah even though I'm not a typical girl, I still like that fairy tale love story. Sometimes I want a non fiction book, or crime/thriller, maybe even a sy-fyi book. Everyone has their preference. I read all along the map.

So far this is the list I have come up with that I just HAVE to read!

If I Stay by: Gayle Forman

Looking for Alaska by: John Green

Where She Went by: Gayle Forman

Once Upon a Secret: My Affair with President John F. Kennedy by: Mimi Alford

11/22/63 by: Stephen King

Claim me by: J. Kenner

Complete Me by: J. Kenner

The City by: Dean Koontz

Flowers in Attic by: V.C Andrews

Petals on the Wind by: V.C Andrews

If there be Thorns by: V.C Andrews

Seeds of Yesterday by: V.C Andrews

Garden of Shadows by: V.C Andrews


Paper Towns by: John Green

An a Abundance of Katherine's by: John Green

Labor Day by: Joyce Maynard

Leaving Time by: Jodi Picoult

Dark Witch by: Nora Roberts

Shadow Spell by: Nora Roberts

Blood Magick by: Nora Roberts

Trust me. I'm sure there are more. And many more I will come by or Others that I'll pick up because I just HAVE to have it and skip some on the list. It's what I do. And also depends on the type of book I'm in the mood for. Take my advice. Figure out your type of book and give it a try. What's the worst thing that could happen? You don't like it and you waisted a little bit of time that would've probably been waisted on tv anyways? :)