Friday, July 4, 2014

What people don't understand

Having a child with ADHD pretty bad is hard enough to deal with at times. Having a child with other disorders makes it even harder. Lucas hasn't been fully evaluated yet but his pediatrician says mild Aspergers and (ASD) autistic spectrum disorder.

Lucas has been on many different meds since he was diagnosed with ADHD. At first his dad and I tried not medicating him. We knew at an early age he had it because I have it as well. I didn't want to medicate him. I know how those meds make you feel and the side effects of them. Unfortunately it got to the point he was having issues in school and we had no other choice but to go with meds. Each med he was on had different side effects we didn't like. Some he had emotional outbursts, he would be so happy one minute then the next he would burst out in tears crying or get so mad and angry. I've never seen him like that. Some he won't eat on, he would be a walking zombie, he had twitches, sleeplessness. All sorts of different problems. He still needs different meds but the meds he's on now atleast he still can be a normal kid with. Hopefully they will eventually find one that works for him.

Lucas has very rough days. Which makes us all have rough days. He still needs his evaluation from the behavior center, they will run tests and try to diagnose him the best they can. He will need to be put into therapy. He has anger issues and needs to learn how to learn to deal with all that's going on in his head. He can be very hard to handle at times. His emotions take over him. And it's hard to calm him down. Last night during fireworks I had to pin him down put my hand on his chest, focused his eyes on mine and kept repeating calm down. I eventually got him calm. While you have everyone around you staring at you thinking it's because he's just a bad kid.... When it's not the issue at all. It's because he has medical problems and is to young to understand them. He hasn't learned how to deal with them.

I think that's one of the most irritating things of all. When Lucas is having a meltdown in public and people stare and whisper and I'm sure are thinking what a bad mom I am or how horrible my son is. When in all reality they don't understand what he has. Or don't understand what he feels when he's having these meltdowns. I have been working on not letting the stares get to me. It makes me angry and gets my temper going and that's when I start to get heated and well me heated isn't good because that leads to a fight. Not something I need. I just focus on Lucas and getting him calm and focused. I'm still learning everyday on how to handle him and how to bring him back to being calm. It may be difficult but I can't imagine how difficult it is for him. That's what I try to remind myself. I have to change he way I handle situations to his needs. Not change him.

Although Lucas has ADHD and ASD and most likely a mild form of Aspergers. I wouldn't trade any of it for a child who doesn't have any of it. He can be hard to handle and it does get stressful, but he's unique. He's mine. It makes it all worth while when he says "mommy" or gives me hugs and kisses. When we are walking anywhere he he puts his little hand in mine, when he cuddles up with me on the couch, or draws me pictures all the time telling me how much he loves me and what a great mom I am. That makes it all worth the hard times. He can't control what's wrong with him. I just want to guide him the right way and help him learn. I have a smart love able little boy who is the love of my life and stole my heart the minute the doctor handed him to me in the delivery room.


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