tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22807167636817157292024-02-20T12:27:32.529-08:00Traveling through the world behind my eyes!NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-82198204877505085622016-01-13T17:59:00.001-08:002016-01-13T17:59:22.503-08:00Review: Dove dry antiperspirant <p> I was sent both men and women's Dove dry antiperspirant to try for free and review. For only $5.49 at Target for a can goes along way! You don't need to spray on much and it smells so good! This was my first time using spray deodorant. I expected it to feel all wet and leave a damp look or feeling under my arms and on my clothes. I can't say for others but with Dove I didn't get that at all. It was instantly dry. I would recommend this to all my friends and family. My husband also loves his free can. He said he loves how he doesn't have that wet feeling like the gel deoderant or the clumpy feeling like you get with the white solid deoderant. I honestly don't have anything negative to say about this product.! Get out there and try it!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijxHpIk0c9fMA5UHlxr8WNu5HFQv-waS93AsY1PtdbXVSJZGfRQtRk5-RICJ5G6BHTiKxuifFfzwTze8RFSpj8F5qQjNy-hTnJwrTDdvWD3BB3csjVt6s4wAnbIls97mTi4vltyMsczcVg/s960/Photo%25252020160113205831499.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijxHpIk0c9fMA5UHlxr8WNu5HFQv-waS93AsY1PtdbXVSJZGfRQtRk5-RICJ5G6BHTiKxuifFfzwTze8RFSpj8F5qQjNy-hTnJwrTDdvWD3BB3csjVt6s4wAnbIls97mTi4vltyMsczcVg/s500/Photo%25252020160113205831499.jpg" id="blogsy-1452736744649.1875" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="500"></a></div><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-15944439780841612332016-01-05T07:43:00.001-08:002016-01-05T07:43:11.714-08:00100% life change<p> Well it's out there, and everyone knows I cheated on Lee. I don't have an excuse because I should've left him before hand. I guess I just thought it was a rough patch. I was tired of working my life away while he was consistently at home unemployed and not searching for a good job. I felt more like an ATM than a wife. He didn't treat lucas right. He was always riding his ass and yelling at him. I thought he'd love to have a boy to throw the football around with. I mean he's a huge sports fan. But he didn't. He took excellent care of him responsibility wise,mane not saying that he didn't love him because I know he did. But he wasn't Lexi. And that's the difference. I wanted it to work, I did. But the more and more it went on with me working a million hours and missing everything with Lucas and seeing how he was being treated I grew closer to someone else. It wasn't intentional by any means and I never went looking to cheat, but I did.</p><p>We even stayed together for another year after he found out. It broke his heart and that crushed me, because honestly he never deserved that. We fought constantly. He told lucas about it even. He was 7 how do you do that?! He involved Lexi and Lucas into our fights. I tried to not be angry but I just resented him in so many ways I began to hate him and it showed. He wasn't there for me emotionally. No matter how hard I tried to get help with my depression I had no support. It made me mean and treat him like crap. Which again he didn't deserve. He didn't deserve how I was treating him. I think if I was properly diagnosed earlier I wouldn't have been like that. I feel bad for how I yelled at him all the time and just degraded him. I shouldn't have let it get that far. I just didn't know how to react to how I felt. So it got bad enough we split up. And honestly it was for the best. We wouldn't have made it for the long haul. </p><p>So I seen Don. He was always a great friend and I was always helping him with advice. I never really shared my problems with him, but I always let him talk it out with me. We got close when I started working a lot of hours and he was working with me non stop. We went to hang out, honestly that's all it was meant to be. Until he kissed me. And I never had that feeling before. Well things escalated from there. He was there for me in every way and always said he just wanted me to be happy. He even went to the point of telling me maybe Lee and I should try counceling and him and I just be friends. That he loved me and wanted for me to just be happy even if that meant ending what we had. But things just kept getting worse and worse at home and I knew it was over, he wasn't working so I felt bad and couldn't end it. I didn't think he had anywhere to go. Turns out he did. Since he ended up moving in with his brother. </p><p>Things still didn't get better. We fought even being separated. So many emotions just made it worse. Although after 3 months of waiting I finally got in to see the psychiatrist. That's when I was properly diagnosed. Bipolar ll, manic depressive, and anxiety disorder. He upped my antidepressants, my strattera, put me on mood stabilizers and switched me from regular Xanax to Xanax extended relief. What a huge difference it made. I had already gotten super skinny. I dropped weight fast. I wasn't eating due to all the stress and emotions I was feeling. I got under 140 lbs. my dr even said I was to thin. </p><p>I was doing much better after all the medicine changes but still had a lot of issues because of them. I couldn't sleep, I'd be up all night. My dr put me on FMLA and I was off work a lot. Don and I got serious. I already was in love with him and knew I wanted only him. But he feelings with Lee didn't just go away.</p><p>We got divorced. It's over. Besides a very few things we don't need to speak. Which we don't. I was bashed all over facebook by his family, his ex wife and himself. He put all of our business out there. I never did. I wasn't about to put all the things that went wrong out there. All the things that were problems for me with him. And I didn't. I do still love him and have feelings for him. I'm not over it. Which I'm sure is still causing depression issues with myself. I have dreams about him a lot and I don't know what they mean. It's not that I want to be with him because I don't. Just a lot of history there. I miss our friendship. There were plenty of good times. Not all was bad. He always could make me laugh no matter what. I knew he would always protect me. He's not a bad guy, he's just not the one for me. I hope he finds that someone. </p><p>I on the other hand have. Don supports me in every way. He's so patient and is absolutely amazing with lucas. Lucas loves him so much. He's so much happier. I've never seen my son as happy as he is now. Smile as much as he does. I don't have anger like I did before. Don and I don't fight. We get along so well and he understands what I go through daily fighting this illness. And he's there. He doesn't make me feel like shit because of it and understands it won't ever go away. I found the one for me. I'm happy. I have problems with depression still but I've learned how to handle things differently. I don't get upset easily like I did before. It's amazing how different I am. We balance each other out and it's the best feeling having that. I love treating him ways he's never been treated. It's sad the little things his ex never did. How selfish she was. I want to make him happy. Not just myself be happy. </p><p>Losing my job even though I had FMLA hit me hard. I got divorced. I was diagnosed with a more serious issue. My world changed in many ways but yet when it comes down to it I'm happy. We are happy. I wouldn't change much. Except my job part. Treating Lee the way I did and cheating on him. Hurting him like I did. I wish that all went down differently. I've learned from my mistakes. I wish nothing but the best for him and hope he finds his happiness like I did. He deserves it. </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-80016395136367089532015-06-27T05:02:00.001-07:002015-06-27T05:02:42.523-07:00Bucket List
<p style="text-align: center;"> <font size="6">My Bucket List </font></p>
<p> </p>
<p> I thought long and hard about what I want to do before I die. Many people have one. I'd love to see what I can cross of my list through the years. I'm sure there are more but this is what I came up with so far.</p>
<ol>
<li>
<span style="color: rgb(255, 15, 0); line-height: 1.3em;">Own a jeep</span><br>
</li>
<li><span style="color: rgb(255, 15, 0); line-height: 1.3em;">Swim with dolphins</span></li>
<li><span style="color: rgb(255, 15, 0); line-height: 1.3em;">Ride in a hot air balloon</span></li>
<li><span style="color: rgb(255, 15, 0); line-height: 1.3em;">Visit Niagra Falls</span></li>
<li><span style="color: rgb(255, 15, 0); line-height: 1.3em;">Learn to play the drums</span></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Run a marathon</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Volunteer at animal shelter</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Take a helicopter ride</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit Disney world</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit Universal Studios </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Hiking in the Grand Canyon</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">See Phantom of the Opera</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit Bush Gardens</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go to the Bristol Night race</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Take a real photography course</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go horseback riding</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go zip lining </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Watch the sunset on the beach</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Take up kick boxing</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Take boxing classes</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go to Las Vegas and see shows</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Own my own house</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Take a pottery class</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Take a cake decorating course</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go on a cruise</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Explore caves</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Stand under a waterfall</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit Colorado Rocky Mountains in Colorado</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go skiing</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Take a glass blowing class</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit mall of America</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Do a murder mystery train</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Ride a big ride at Cedar Point</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go to Comicon </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit New York City</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit Chicago</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">See a Cirque du Soleil show</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">See Kenny Chesney in concert</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Stay in a cabin in the mountains</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go to a winery/vineyard </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go to a different NFL game stadium outside Ohio</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Dine at a VERY fancy resturant </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go kayaking </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Do indoor rock climbing</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go paint balling </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Drive the NASCAR experience </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Ride a camel</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go tobogganing </font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Vacation by car with no destination</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Stay at a bed and breakfast</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit France</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit the 911 site</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Visit Italy</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Plant a garden</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go hunting</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Attend a rodeo</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Go to country concert (the festival)</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">Own a jet ski</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">See a NBA game</font></li>
<li><font color="#ff0f00">See the Super Bowl live </font></li>
</ol>
<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-90420621437057363042015-06-25T14:49:00.001-07:002015-06-25T14:49:47.258-07:00Happy this week!
<h1> <font size="7">Happy this week!</font>
</h1>
<p><font color="#0000ff" size="5"><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> So this is something I need to start doing every week. With everything going on. Remembering things that have made me happy and thinking positive. Not concentrating on the negative and problems all the time. Remembering and looking back is therapeutic and helpful in reminding me why it's a big deal to keep my life going.</span></font></p>
<p><font color="#0000ff" size="5"><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br></span></font></p>
<p><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><font color="#808080" size="4">- I took lucas to the zoo and we had a blast. It was a gorgeous day and we Had so much fun. He was all smiles! All the animals were out and active. He even took his iPod so he could take his own pictures! We saw everything. His favorite was the wolf of course, the aquarium, the sloth bear, and sea otters. He didn't even ask for anything! Very good kid!.. On the was out he grabbed my hand as we were walking to the car and said, "I love you mommy" and gave me a big hug. Made my day! </font></span></p>
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<p><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><font color="#808080" size="4">- After the zoo I took Lucas to his dad's until Friday. Had my psychiatrist appointment. Upped 2 of my meds. So I decided to go get some healthy foods. I was low on fruit and veggies plus I needed some other healthy food for dinners. Came home took meds and had a bad headache since, and was wired! Finally fell asleep around 4! But watched a bunch of my new awesome show Scorpion on DVR and read! It was so nice being here alone! </font></span></p>
<p><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><font color="#808080" size="4">- Yesterday's weather made me happy!! Gorgeous sunshine! No humidity and was finally able to shut off the A/C!</font></span></p>
<p><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><font color="#808080" size="4">- Lucas and I were spoiled by a friend that bought us a new Wii U! Can't tell you how happy we are!! </font></span></p>
<p><font color="#808080" size="4"><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">- I got thin. 141 lbs. I'd like to tighten up and lose some of my baby belly. And my hips. But I'm feeling more comfortable and confident in my clothes now. A couple of my dresses are too big but the rest look really good! I don't want some perk saying crap to me but it does make me feel better about myself when I notice them looking. As long as they leave their perverted comments to themselves. Not interested! </span></font></p>
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<p><font color="#808080">- I did some awesome couponing! I got so much laundry soap, toilet paper, dishwasher tabs and more! It was awesome! I haven't been able to do that in awhile.</font></p>
<p><font color="#808080">- Some of My shows are on again!! The Real Housewives of Orange County, Mistressses, Criminal Minds, and Devious Maids!!</font></p>
<p><font color="#808080">- Lucas finally put his $100 big lego city swamp police set for his birthday together. He sat there quiet while watching Teen Titans Go building his set. He was so good and took him about 2 hours. It was amazing and he did a great job! </font></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/18969981428/" target="_blank" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://farm1.staticflickr.com/356/18969981428_63a28424d9.jpg" id="blogsy-1435268748763.0854" class="alignleft" alt="" width="500" height="376"></a></div>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><font color="#aaaaaa">- I took Lucas to see Jurassic World on Tuesday. He was in heaven! He's obsessed with Jurassic Park movies, the toys, the new Xbox game I got him and dinosaurs period! GREAT movie. Actually my favorite of the 4!</font></p>
<p><font color="#aaaaaa">- I FINALLY found the Chucks I wanted!!! Been looking for my size in the light turquoise for so long and I found them at Kohls on sale for $30!! Saved me $25. And I got another pair of tall boots like my other ones just different color. $80 boots for $20! Look how beautiful they are!? </font></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/19131726816/" target="_blank" style="margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img src="https://farm1.staticflickr.com/550/19131726816_f7a58b04dd.jpg" id="blogsy-1435268748804.6394" class="" alt="" width="200" height="250"></a></div>
<p> <font color="#aaaaaa">- Finally my book came out. I was so excited to get it and start it. Grey! The new Fifty Shades Series book told from Christians point of view. I also picked up a few other books that I've been wanting to read. I've been reading like crazy. Book stores are my sanctuary. and I had a really bad day and needed to forget for awhile. </font></p>
<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-15573123759354265212015-06-02T10:47:00.000-07:002015-06-02T10:47:21.951-07:00Misery
Every day I wake up fighting and every night I fall asleep fighting. Myself. My head. My demons. I hate this continuous fight every. Single. Day. I hate how I feel. All these feelings and thoughts that never go away, just burrow deep inside me. I can have the best day and all of a sudden it will creep up on me slowly out of nowhere and BAM! Hits me. I hate the anger that comes with it. I have learned to have a better grasp at controlling it but it still does come out sometimes. Being tired all the time. Struggle to make myself stay awake so I can spend time with lucas and play with him.
I hate that my marriage went to hell. I hate choices I've made. I wish he knew what I was truly going through. I wish he understood what goes on in my head. How sorry I am. How I never wanted everything to end up like this.
I want to feel Normal. What I would give to be hAppy. All I do anymore is cry. I have no desire to do anything. I slept for like 20 hours so I was out late at my friends boyfriends with them, we stopped drinking. I was so close to canceling on her but I'm glad I didn't. It was good for me to get out with my friends. I'm alone all the time which I read isn't good for someone with my issues to be alone as much as I am because it gives me more time to think bad thoughts. I don't want to end my life but I know I can't go on like this forever. I'm miserable. It's endless. I try so hard to not think negatively. But it's so hard when all you have is yourself.
I just want to go back 3 years. Back when I wasn't struggling as bad as I am now. Back when I was happier. Back before I fucked everything up.
I hate myself.NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-65735163958104308172014-11-21T14:23:00.001-08:002014-11-21T14:23:25.947-08:00Can't escape
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<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> I've recently hit rock bottom with my depression and anxiety. Never have I ever felt this horrible or lost or miserable. For months I could slowly feel myself getting worse and worse, Myself going deeper and deeper into a black whole. I started crying myself to sleep more than ever, when taking a hot bath to relax I find myself just sitting there holding my legs in a ball and I just cry and cry. Lee would knock on the door making sure I didn't fall asleep, little did he know I was in there losing it. I cry on the way to and from work. Basically I cry whenever I'm alone. I'm not the type of girl who can cry and just let it out easily in front of others. I don't like people seeing me at my worst, or that I'm not as strong as I let on. </p>
<p>Finally after crying for an hour in the bathtub when I got out I sat on the edge of the bed in a towel and yelled for Lee to come upstairs. I just started bawling. He had no idea what was going on. I told him I think I should go to rescue crisis. If feeling like this everyday was going to continue then it don't want to live. Lucas luckily is a reason to love for. But I see why people end their life, I honestly do. What's the point of living if your going to be miserable everyday. It's a horrible feeling to feel this way. </p>
<p>Been seeing a dr. He's upped my Xanax quite a bit. 4x what I was on before and changed my antidepressant. Although it's not helping much. Maybe some but not enough. Going once a week so he can monitor my blood pressure and see if my meds are improving. Well they aren't. I need either to have them upped or a different medicine. He gave me a psychologist number to call and set up an appointment but with all my dr appointments going on and dentist appointments I have to wait. </p>
<p>I just want to feel normal. To be happy. That's not asking a lot. But I just can't get there. All I want to do is just lay in bed curled up under the covers. I haven't been able to take my meds the last two days and man can I feel it. I'm so much worse without medicine. Atleast it helps some, it's better than not at all. I'm so emotional. I want to cry and run away. I want to not feel this way. </p>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It's hard because when you don't battle depression yourself it's hard to understand. Depression is hard on a relationship. The other person has to pick up a lot of slack on days when you can't get out of bed or can't get off the couch because how horrible you feel. You push people away. I know I do. The worse I feel the more I push people away. I don't know if it's because I don't want them to see me at my worst or because I don't want to hurt them or both or what. When I feel like I do today I am not the nicest person to be around. Especially to ones I care about. I push them away, I'm snappy and bitchy. I intentionally don't want to hurt them. I guess maybe that's why it's best I stay to myself so I don't. I don't want to do that to someone. <br><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Ds1McDcbH3v6ovp-upG3W1JksNMUEay4LZ-ugRjRU2T33yAWgk4TGDBCcu_ONyNo7XL_8nlApwW37-rrJ5eiWG9loXQL-Qzdq8M3_x4vhSnqnRREom12sunotG6pgl52njx3EAs17HD1/s746/Photo%25252020141121163524.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Ds1McDcbH3v6ovp-upG3W1JksNMUEay4LZ-ugRjRU2T33yAWgk4TGDBCcu_ONyNo7XL_8nlApwW37-rrJ5eiWG9loXQL-Qzdq8M3_x4vhSnqnRREom12sunotG6pgl52njx3EAs17HD1/s500/Photo%25252020141121163524.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572239.9746" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="430" height="746"></a>This is exactly how I've been lately. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk6wbReT0Gv7uI-d42mXMdZPqB0fDrSlBef3vEkwFV7VilJE4PvmF5r3Pjhmt2P6vdTSMvqmVdGqw9JUOQH-mclPwZzxAem1ZREUVxHeAOGDSixgPhfGIzeRzfPhE02D3Ar-823TYJDwKb/s795/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style="line-height: 1.3em; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk6wbReT0Gv7uI-d42mXMdZPqB0fDrSlBef3vEkwFV7VilJE4PvmF5r3Pjhmt2P6vdTSMvqmVdGqw9JUOQH-mclPwZzxAem1ZREUVxHeAOGDSixgPhfGIzeRzfPhE02D3Ar-823TYJDwKb/s283/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572242.4521" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="283" height="503"></a>This is totally how I feel. I'm never happy but I have days where I'm not as bad as others. This is what's so hard. I can't ever be happy just not as down as other days. </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoYYEAzvkkD4qAz6smNmtdoQt0FjV5y_sNRPKCzGLxR3iEpo8SFjPqLK8GcoVQzVmwMDpo7uBvkTqlfksZAmAAjkFan3FCBZWvFtRA8Vj3Kii7yPzFqCd-CJ03JHR_p92hH68rgGGY7pF-/s601/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoYYEAzvkkD4qAz6smNmtdoQt0FjV5y_sNRPKCzGLxR3iEpo8SFjPqLK8GcoVQzVmwMDpo7uBvkTqlfksZAmAAjkFan3FCBZWvFtRA8Vj3Kii7yPzFqCd-CJ03JHR_p92hH68rgGGY7pF-/s500/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572204.9207" class="alignright" alt="" width="421" height="601"></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhOLVxsfd6jFnQbmPC0uvlQ3qfVKZhXgTETaSD4-KJtfBiDuYrZjisyt1FNsV30VgsLOE1fcsvKOf9re-EMJw3aJQP_IT4XNT6gig1FwROu8J8vJKG78X6ihZ8i1ZwoW8xdeE-hN7W7VpQ/s374/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhOLVxsfd6jFnQbmPC0uvlQ3qfVKZhXgTETaSD4-KJtfBiDuYrZjisyt1FNsV30VgsLOE1fcsvKOf9re-EMJw3aJQP_IT4XNT6gig1FwROu8J8vJKG78X6ihZ8i1ZwoW8xdeE-hN7W7VpQ/s374/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572244.058" class="alignnone" alt="" width="256" height="374"></a></div>
<p> It's hard to explain how I feel. Which is why I'm hoping going to therapy will help me. Maybe it'll be easier talking to someone who has an idea of what's going on. Although they might understand they still won't know how it feels if they don't personally battle it themselves. </p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYo130DUMUmRQAwqjJby_SFuclON5bMi60neAyfRElYIq_g3MHywrfFLTySuP6StoKZq2FwqgTAf3SQSZ3oRCORbUx1GJVtLCGjne0GePxGbUvHDFZbkOAHjotwj9s8W62v-5MC6zY6fQC/s306/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYo130DUMUmRQAwqjJby_SFuclON5bMi60neAyfRElYIq_g3MHywrfFLTySuP6StoKZq2FwqgTAf3SQSZ3oRCORbUx1GJVtLCGjne0GePxGbUvHDFZbkOAHjotwj9s8W62v-5MC6zY6fQC/s306/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572184.1885" class="alignnone" alt="" width="306" height="258"></a>Sleeping helps get through the day because I don't feel anything. But sometimes all I want to do is sleep and I just lay there and stay at the tv without being able to sleep whatsoever. I hate depending on medicine to get me to be able to get atleast two hours of sleep. </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKb89miLEufW42nP78nfMi1wFY4nKWSAU4o8lx0AFydfqvbfHLHns0mLS94HUMwCOvJbuxC5m2VfUy2_GvmotTO1k21iBiPv8SE_kSNMT4vDqTzuwa90Ef4-FQzjRb-2n7mHSnNuKLMrDB/s915/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKb89miLEufW42nP78nfMi1wFY4nKWSAU4o8lx0AFydfqvbfHLHns0mLS94HUMwCOvJbuxC5m2VfUy2_GvmotTO1k21iBiPv8SE_kSNMT4vDqTzuwa90Ef4-FQzjRb-2n7mHSnNuKLMrDB/s313/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572210.1877" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="313" height="479"></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh-p7k20gen9qs7qe2GnJ3aMCnNo1Ik8O4jcRyzzTqMukTr4lLrXhJxVxg5KvTEL5l2HkhJkwvuigOTr7JXQ8AhadhpiVHJdyP0jE7eMZSXRMGSEzf-jQ8l1qAH8VWCAUT01Cj2UJ4tl5h/s314/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh-p7k20gen9qs7qe2GnJ3aMCnNo1Ik8O4jcRyzzTqMukTr4lLrXhJxVxg5KvTEL5l2HkhJkwvuigOTr7JXQ8AhadhpiVHJdyP0jE7eMZSXRMGSEzf-jQ8l1qAH8VWCAUT01Cj2UJ4tl5h/s314/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572281.9941" class="alignnone" alt="" width="304" height="314"></a></div>
<p> Amen!!!!! It's so hard trying to get someone to understand the battle I deal with every day. It's so hard for them to understand this isn't a choice, how I act or feel isn't optional or controllable. I wish everyday I could be different. That I could feel different. </p>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6U09gtFFz2CeKurnKcyGikDTUkuUAUUmVSefCPw4vUsElf4QgcJCMhvb_zPrc4VZxQMsy6xhMatmNElQDylEDUn4UwAGr9GB5Cv40vG1IPK238s4y5UbYlfHHW5HuCoohabFS8xcNKK9b/s954/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6U09gtFFz2CeKurnKcyGikDTUkuUAUUmVSefCPw4vUsElf4QgcJCMhvb_zPrc4VZxQMsy6xhMatmNElQDylEDUn4UwAGr9GB5Cv40vG1IPK238s4y5UbYlfHHW5HuCoohabFS8xcNKK9b/s500/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572254.0928" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="776"></a></div>
<p> </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4mz3vpHKt3O_LHcBaWiW9xdK9bgeK1O5NxZkPmPxQFkfHSmcLpf5VbKFsZub14Six50nKGjNeeUIWMD7NBbX6ih4krU3Onsxse2uEA6JXPA2cKt6a0j27wiHwJEAe4PYXpPRvQmxoUPY/s534/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4mz3vpHKt3O_LHcBaWiW9xdK9bgeK1O5NxZkPmPxQFkfHSmcLpf5VbKFsZub14Six50nKGjNeeUIWMD7NBbX6ih4krU3Onsxse2uEA6JXPA2cKt6a0j27wiHwJEAe4PYXpPRvQmxoUPY/s300/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572211.2004" class="alignnone" alt="" width="300" height="227"></a></div>
<p> This is what means the most. A simple hug. Being held. Not speaking and trying to say something that you don't understand. Just holding me and saying your here and meaning it. </p>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfyXpivX-2UrCSNXbtkOda03bMbn_177e0BAplO0R0djl7TCcTbTsjaWHbRv7CrE5l7UXasL7eZg5eN4PrfzxXkKFbJ_VoEB2dA3anyaf7sO5xq4ArhKESx9lSpIGek1jbMT9CDZJ_A-V0/s869/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfyXpivX-2UrCSNXbtkOda03bMbn_177e0BAplO0R0djl7TCcTbTsjaWHbRv7CrE5l7UXasL7eZg5eN4PrfzxXkKFbJ_VoEB2dA3anyaf7sO5xq4ArhKESx9lSpIGek1jbMT9CDZJ_A-V0/s300/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572263.0986" class="alignnone" alt="" width="300" height="431"></a></div>
<p> Just trying to get through the day is more exhausting that working a 12 hour shift. It takes so much just to try and be normal. To try and not take it out on others. To make yourself get out of bed, to do normal everyday activities. To just remember to smile and laugh so you don't look stupid or out of place. It's exhausting. </p>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4fjmkVYxNm9poX3lTAHKffCJtweNDtiAEmrSVmjLzG17q-flfh1GBJUIkh1rM0mPJRHY98KhSzTc6msZBYyIqmQLIJLA0pOhavQ4U_W-TifanUXjKGhHACtNHLPNLsKTenmtkNoMKzEIU/s325/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4fjmkVYxNm9poX3lTAHKffCJtweNDtiAEmrSVmjLzG17q-flfh1GBJUIkh1rM0mPJRHY98KhSzTc6msZBYyIqmQLIJLA0pOhavQ4U_W-TifanUXjKGhHACtNHLPNLsKTenmtkNoMKzEIU/s325/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572239.921" class="alignnone" alt="" width="235" height="325"></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd1ZxwruAqWKTsjIgI4XknTaMXjyF5ruwrsZ3P1Xq-ZPl2B5Gj6F4Wc9QGx2DClZCT2bLqZRL74XdokIoL2NeAsmQacSMssLo_KD4aMndPbJ-hx4HP3_Rb3EsLlghKZe-xcgtegCv0AWyq/s412/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd1ZxwruAqWKTsjIgI4XknTaMXjyF5ruwrsZ3P1Xq-ZPl2B5Gj6F4Wc9QGx2DClZCT2bLqZRL74XdokIoL2NeAsmQacSMssLo_KD4aMndPbJ-hx4HP3_Rb3EsLlghKZe-xcgtegCv0AWyq/s412/Photo%25252020141121163515.jpg" id="blogsy-1416608572226.3174" class="alignnone" alt="" width="263" height="412"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"> I'm always saying I'm fine. I'm not, but people don't want to hear the truth. And I get tired of saying no.</div>
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<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-33048064277430124692014-11-04T14:15:00.001-08:002014-11-04T14:15:49.482-08:00Feeling lost<p> This is the worst I've ever felt with battling depression. I've never hit this point of wondering what the point of living is. The only thing that gets me through the day is Lucas. If it wasn't for him I can't say what would happen to me. I go through everyday feeling so lost. Not really "here". I find myself not enjoying much of anything anymore. I used to read so much. I loved reading, couldn't get enough. Now it feels like a chore. I'm on the same book I've been reading for months. It's even by my favorite author, yet I can't seem to want to read more than a couple pages every few days. I don't enjoy my time with Lucas doing fun activities and going to do all the fun activities away like I used to. </p><p>Today as I sit in the bath tub the thought crossed my mind to actually go and get help now. I'm scared with how I feel. This isn't normal or healthy. Just to go check myself in somewhere and get better. But I can't afford to miss work. So what am I going to do? Continue going to work everyday coming home feeling like this until I can't anymore. </p><p>I want to know why I feel like this. Why do I have to hurt so bad everyday. To fight so hard to feel the slightest bit of happiness. </p><p>I just want this pain to end.... </p><p>To feel normal.</p><p>To be happy.</p><p>Not have my heart race all day.</p><p>Have my mind be calm.</p><p>To be positive.</p><p>Not hurt.</p><p> </p><p>I wish I could just take a magic pill and have all these negative feelings and thoughts that consume my body just disappear for good. </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-19569720088918720782014-09-25T16:19:00.001-07:002014-09-25T16:19:52.245-07:00A daydreamer
<p style="text-align: center;"> Im a dreamer. I over think. AND it drives me crazy!! All I do all day every day is think. And think some more. And then when I think I'm done, NOPE! I think some more. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I'm not talking about just using my brain and thinking like a normal person. No, see that would be easy. And nothing is easy for me. I am far from normal. I can over think any situation. When I want something or plan something or something is going on I will play it out in my head in just about any and every way mentally possible. Then I confuse myself to holy hell! </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I like that I play out things in my head but as much as I do all it does is wear me out. When I'm at work I have more than enough time on my hands where I can drift away off into that little land that I wonder off to and think. It won't even be anything big and it will eat at me because I'll replay it in every way possible. Not that I over analyze because I don't, it's different. It can be from what I'm wearing for an event to how I am planning Lucas's birthday that can be months and months away to whatever situation I'm in or what will happen in the future. It doesn't matter what it is, I think about it. Shopping, relationships, parenting, the future, dinner plans, shopping lists, you name it.! </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I just want more than anything to turn my mind off at times. It's goes along with my depression I think. Because when I'm depressed it's so much worse.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> I wish I could just figure this stuff out and stop spending every waking moment thinking about it! Pick a path and go. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I think if maybe I had more of a life I wouldn't day dream as often as I do. If I had more besides working my life away and coming home doing dinner and Lucas school stuff, etc. Maybe doing things more that I enjoy for myself like I used to. Last summer I still did stuff I enjoyed. I used to exercise regularly, bake, try all these new recipes, (god I used to love to cook!), smash book, hell read! It takes me forever to get through a Book now :( , running, shooting my bow going out for some drinks with my friends. I don't do any of that anymore.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Where did I go? I used to work, do all the kid stuff, mom stuff and still find time to be me... What happened? I've lost who I was, I don't even know anymore. </p>
<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-38804586156117275912014-08-30T09:50:00.001-07:002014-08-30T09:50:17.193-07:00Uncontrollable
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<p style="text-align: center;"> I get sick of assumptions. "Your acting different" ... "Something's wrong"... Yes something is wrong, and I shouldn't have to always explain how I feel. It drives me crazy! I can't explain it to myself let alone to someone else. After so long you would think it's known. I have depression. I go through spells. I can't control it anymore than someone else can. It's not like I wake up saying today I'm going to be depressed and distant and keep to myself. Sometimes I just want to be left alone.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I hate feeling this way. The unknown feelings. The feeling that I want to get up and go do something but would rather just lay in bed alone. I want to feel normal. I'd love to shit my brain off for a whole day. It just doesn't work that way. There isn't a specific reason I'm depressed. It's not what someone did or hasn't done. It's just me. It's my screwed up brain. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I lay in bed wanting to do something. I have a million things I want to do or get done or make or create or watch or read. But despite all of that, I do nothing. It's not that I don't have the energy it's because I just don't care to. It's easier to lay there and dream. Dream of what I'd rather being doing, because I just can't get myself up to do it. That's depression. I have to deal with it every day. It's a constant battle. It's not something I choose, it chose me. I'm plenty medicated. It just doesn't always seem to work. </p>
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<p style="text-align: center;"> If I could change one thing about myself besides my constant unhappiness with my body it would be my daily battle with depression. People who don't have it don't understand it. I'm not saying being on the opposite end of it is easy when you are dealing with someone who is battling it, but try being the person who actually is. It effects your everyday life. Work, social life, relationships, parenthood, daily activities, eating, everything. </p>
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<p> The sad thing Is I feel like I let Lucas down everyday. I look at him and can tell he is already showing symptoms and signs of depression. He doesn't smile nearly as much as most kids do. It's hard to get that smile out. Just like me. I want more than anything to not have him grow up feeling the way I feel. No matter how much I do ith him or smother him with love it won't change that. </p>
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<p> When its nice out and the sun is shining bright, it helps my mood some. When it's dreary and cold it makes me feel the same way. The weather can play a role in your depression also.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I'm the type of person that needs to be kept busy. The more downtime I have the more I have time to think, and to over think. I get worn out by working so much and running around with every day stuff but it's better for me to be like that than to not. Ive been down almost a week, off work in pain with my back. Do I think that's playing a role in my mood right now? Hell yes! I have to much time on my hands which means I have no clue how to fill it. See I also have ADHD so my attention span is shit. Next to me I have my phone, iPod, iPad (which I'm currently on) and my book. I keep bouncing from one to the other. Texting, playing games, Pintrest, reading, searching the web, and watching Lucas and his friend play video games. Lol. </p>
<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-64502045454356692072014-08-30T07:39:00.001-07:002014-08-30T07:39:32.788-07:00So cute I can't stand it!!
<p> Everyone who knows me knows that I am a complete utter animal freak! I love all animals! Not an animal out there that I can't find something cute about! If I could I would own a huge piece of land with many different sorts of animals. </p>
<p>I am a sucker when it comes to animals. I would rather surround myself with animals than people any day. Animals are innocent, people are not. When it comes to my own animals, they are my life. I spoil them like my children. Especially Harlie. She's my baby. My princess! I got her right before I found out I was pregnant with a lucas.</p>
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<p>I used to have a lot more animals than I do now but unfortunately I had to put them down. At one point I had 4 fish, a frog, a big lizard, 4 rats, 3 cats and 2 dogs. I miss my rats like crazy. They were so lovable and smart! I would love to get more but their life span is only 2 years and that's to heart breaking for me to go through losing an animal that frequently. :( I was very attached to Fatters (squishy) our big male rat, and his wifey (lol they had 2 liters is I married them) Mamma's (ratouille). They knew who mommy was. Makes me said thinking about it :( . </p>
<p> If you know me you know penguins are my favorite animals. I love them!!! Next would probably be giraffes! But it's hard to choose, I love so many animals and they are just so cute! I like any cute stuffed animal. I couldn't have to many!</p>
<p>I love that Lucas took on my love of animals also. He loves the. He reads books, and watches all the animal shows, loves stuffed animals and the zoo! He can't watch animals being killed on tv like me either. We are more animal people than anything. I love that he's like that. I believe if you Are an animal lover you have a bigger heart. It shows a lot of character about get type of person you are! </p>
<p>Here are some of my faves! </p>
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<p> Eeek! My favorite!!! Penguins!</p>
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/14896330479/" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5579/14896330479_3899401b36.jpg" id="blogsy-1409409527968.8823" class="alignnone" alt="" width="395" height="260"></a>I mean really how adorable!</div>
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/15082673762/" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3911/15082673762_5c6b5efa3b_c.jpg" id="blogsy-1409409528001.1223" class="alignnone" alt="" width="500" height="647"></a>What a cute giraffe!!! </div>
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/14896335739/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5587/14896335739_b881d2268e.jpg" id="blogsy-1409409528027.8755" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="334"></a>Look at that face!!!!!!!
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/15082672342/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5568/15082672342_153a90037c.jpg" id="blogsy-1409409527942.9214" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="470" height="370"></a> Hedgehogs!!! I will be getting one soon! Lucas keeps asking when I'm getting one. They are so damn cute!!
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<p> Seals are so cute!! Look how innocent they look!</p>
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/15060022436/" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3875/15060022436_b6b1a33e5e.jpg" id="blogsy-1409409527969.3945" class="alignnone" alt="" width="470" height="370"></a>Otters!!</div>
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/14896472617/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3840/14896472617_334ddaa4c5.jpg" id="blogsy-1409409528004.5205" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="470" height="370"></a>Such mean animals, but so freakin cute!!
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<p> Platypus! God they are cute!!!!</p>
<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-85423498269802834322014-07-14T16:30:00.001-07:002014-07-14T16:30:24.934-07:00Happy this week
<p><font face="Helvetica" size="6">Happy This Week</font></p>
<p> </p>
<p> Here we go again! Another day to reflect the past week and what has made me happy this week.</p>
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<p>** Gorgeous weather! Warm days and cool nights. What more could you ask for!?! </p>
<p>** Lucas had his first sleepover at a friends house Wednesday night. Ok so maybe I took it hard (pathetic I know! Lol) but he was so happy so how couldn't I be?</p>
<p>** The perfect watermelon! Yes this makes me happy! So ripe, red, sweet and juicy!... Yummmmmm!</p>
<p>** Lucas had a house full of kids basically all week. I love him having friends over. Lucas and a bunch of kids piled into our pool and swam. Floating between the pool and jumping on the trampoline.!</p>
<p>** Tesla concert Friday night! Amazinggggg as always! I love Telsa! The singers voice and way he moves. He's awesome! Great show, and we were so close!!</p>
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<p>** I bought Justin Moore tickets for july 27th!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woo hoo!! Super psyched (if you can't tell!)</p>
<p>** Saturday my good friend Helen and I went out for her birthday. We went to Carmels listened to a buddy of ours DJ, had some margaritas and good food. Went out after, had way to much to drink, met new people, and had lots of laughs!... Had a couple stalkers lol, but I held my own. Makes ya feel good getting hit on though. Atleast I know someone still is interested in how I look lol.</p>
<p>** Sunday was our 2 year wedding Anniversary. We went to Gratzi's in Ann Arbor. Got all dressed up and had an amazing meal. I ordered mussels, scallops, and shrimp linguine in a pesto sauce. Yum! It's nice to have a fancy dinner where you never been at a REAL Italian resturant! Had a nice very nice meal! From the appetizer, salad, main course to the dessert it was all amazing! Before it was a resturant it was an old theatre, gorgeous inside.!</p>
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<p> Appetizer.. Cured meat, cheeses, and grilles veggies.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Yummy salad!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZOjsrOwCYyd1gTYsD1ZHKgH0yf3IpM-XhMRJPvOubUNrrh5JkGshCQqQoZVM_L1LOAsPTVmMY1V49idhAgxGGRd-geI4RkpzsQBYYgpkllDPXYR86DFHstBVXWbNbv-wiAGJ-1KYRyWjg/s960/Photo%25252020140714192314.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZOjsrOwCYyd1gTYsD1ZHKgH0yf3IpM-XhMRJPvOubUNrrh5JkGshCQqQoZVM_L1LOAsPTVmMY1V49idhAgxGGRd-geI4RkpzsQBYYgpkllDPXYR86DFHstBVXWbNbv-wiAGJ-1KYRyWjg/s300/Photo%25252020140714192314.jpg" id="blogsy-1405380614959.745" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="300" height="225"></a>How amazing does this pasta dish look! My faveeeee!</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Trimasu... So good!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbKpyjCQpRoXb7vm2bmJO6JF87AXrK1b9ztbEVE14Xs9wX6iKg2UvjKwTE7VmUkIWBw2ic0ho-ZtlqBE78_X_f_AyNsPl1a03tovHN7c8mNn-70P5l02nTB-Br49_1kBuDGRS5Bz4MQbdN/s960/Photo%25252020140714192314.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbKpyjCQpRoXb7vm2bmJO6JF87AXrK1b9ztbEVE14Xs9wX6iKg2UvjKwTE7VmUkIWBw2ic0ho-ZtlqBE78_X_f_AyNsPl1a03tovHN7c8mNn-70P5l02nTB-Br49_1kBuDGRS5Bz4MQbdN/s300/Photo%25252020140714192314.jpg" id="blogsy-1405380615010.1301" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="300" height="400"></a>
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<p>Waiter took our pic at dinner. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoTAdVUkPdN1be1VMVmhlLjHT_bRO81LS7JRoL9PDAVT4x0HDArklr7t0D_xa0a0Gu_XpWRVGt7XDBbxuzoaZNVLfL_4CqO6d27yjd7I5yDnMllzrHW1MJgAD0Iml2bzw4kx5M-ak4PW3X/s960/Photo%25252020140714192314.jpg" target="_blank" style="line-height: 1.3em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoTAdVUkPdN1be1VMVmhlLjHT_bRO81LS7JRoL9PDAVT4x0HDArklr7t0D_xa0a0Gu_XpWRVGt7XDBbxuzoaZNVLfL_4CqO6d27yjd7I5yDnMllzrHW1MJgAD0Iml2bzw4kx5M-ak4PW3X/s300/Photo%25252020140714192314.jpg" id="blogsy-1405380615000.7432" class="alignnone" alt="" width="300" height="400"></a></p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7d-sotKyBQIDPh449a60nSsSwet2VmiXzVD68nEYYAP20CFJqBA_Iid01pI_ejOGraK4t8S6PPAS133lfMwvSoDAQvkWPnI6y60OnRM7nKVHRlhigWFY6S-oyFwB3Acfez78scoKzAqsw/s960/Photo%25252020140714192314.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7d-sotKyBQIDPh449a60nSsSwet2VmiXzVD68nEYYAP20CFJqBA_Iid01pI_ejOGraK4t8S6PPAS133lfMwvSoDAQvkWPnI6y60OnRM7nKVHRlhigWFY6S-oyFwB3Acfez78scoKzAqsw/s500/Photo%25252020140714192314.jpg" id="blogsy-1405380615030.6875" class="alignnone" alt="" width="500" height="375"></a>Gorgeous view!</div>
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<p>** I had the weekend off! Probably last one for awhile! Boo! </p>
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<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-12188168357218419182014-07-14T15:58:00.001-07:002014-07-14T15:58:05.241-07:00Myself again.<p style="text-align: center;"> Yesterday was my 2nd wedding anniversary. We keep it simple when it comes to gifts. When we got married I told Lee I wanted to do the traditional gifts. It is the creative, quirky gifts that mean the most. This year was cotton. I spent like $20 on his gift... A tshirt that said. "I love my hot wife" lol. I bought it awhile ago. </p><p style="text-align: center;">So when I came down stairs with his gift, on the counter sat 2 gift bags... And one was quite big. I immediately said "I thought we were keeping it simple?" So he tells me one was a last minute gift and I would understand when I opened it. He opened his first.. Now my turn. He tells me to open the smaller of the two. A pink leather journal that I can bend... Yeah I understood immediately, he said the other one sets it off..mNext up the big bag.... Fire proof lock box. Keys and digital code. Now it really makes sense. He looked at me and told me how bad it made him feel when I told him he took a part of me away when I quit writing because I couldn't trust him to read my journal again. Best gift ever. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzytoQ76PlzHyU-37cjlzsJSjeK-IOxmEiLbtwAYbfPIOQmo3ikVrhcTeX_BPiUBpPf7XOGmkaMpJKKIvZpIz6KNz3GPRApIMEZcevHGPuaqKfr8S0AJhtNg_SlgxCGZrC_z6ZwS4oXYub/s960/Photo%25252020140714185701.jpg" target="_blank" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzytoQ76PlzHyU-37cjlzsJSjeK-IOxmEiLbtwAYbfPIOQmo3ikVrhcTeX_BPiUBpPf7XOGmkaMpJKKIvZpIz6KNz3GPRApIMEZcevHGPuaqKfr8S0AJhtNg_SlgxCGZrC_z6ZwS4oXYub/s500/Photo%25252020140714185701.jpg" id="blogsy-1405378679872.9502" class="alignright" alt="" width="500" height="375"></a></div><p style="text-align: center;">I absolutely love to write. Not being able to for so many years has definately killed a part of me. Now I will be able to write without worry that someone will read my writing. I like to blog, sure.... But writing on paper with ink is an amazing feeling.</p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;">I now want to take a drive out to Maumee Bay and sit with my journal, a pen, and my thoughts while listening to the water crash against the shore. Hopefully I'll be able to take a drive out there and write... Take pictures. Just me, myself and I. Journal, camera, and my thoughts. Maybe even a coffee and sunrise. </p><p style="text-align: center;">I feel like I gained a part of myself back. I lost that years ago when I found out my husband, then boyfriend was reading my journal. My personal thoughts that I didn't want to share with anyone else but myself. I never wrote again. I can now unlock my thoughts and lock them up under code and key. </p><p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-73945877162946048312014-07-10T13:25:00.001-07:002014-07-10T13:25:31.529-07:00Better at the show!<p style="text-align: center;"> One great thing about warmer weather, more concerts!!! I have quite the line up so far! Just seen Chevelle at Hollywood casino. Fantastic show! I love their music and they put on one hell of a show! This Friday we are going to see Tesla. I LOVE Tesla!... Seen them last year at The Quarry. Same place almost same date as last year lol. July 27th I just bought Justin Moore tickets!! Eeeeekkkk! One of my top 3 favorites! Seen him a few times and I just love him! Not a song he sings I don't like! On Juky 30th I am taking Lex to see Panic at the Disco. I can't believe they even are still out and making new music and touring. One of her favorite bands. So her and I will be driving to Cleveland for her first concert! I'm so excited to go on a girls road trip! August 8th is Ted Nugent at the Rib-Off... Yummy! We go every year. Get a group of friends together, eat a ton of ribs, drink some beer and listen to some rock! On September 1 is Lee Brice and Cole Swindell. First time seeing both! Awesome!!! Then on October 11 is my Florida Georgia Line and Jason Aldean concert! Woooooooo hoooooo! That's the big one I'm super psyched about! Them and my Justin Moore. Hopefully there will be a few other ones thrown in there. </p><p style="text-align: center;">I love concerts! I love the music, the experience seeing the words brought to life in front of you. One of my all time favorite things to do! I have seen so many bands. My first concert was with my dad when I was in the 5th grade. He took me to see Ted Nugent and Alice Cooper. Actually kind of funny because Ted Nugent was my dads first concer, my sisters was also Ted Nugent and we are 15 years apart. I think that's pretty weird. I did have a great time with my dad. I was hooked ever since!</p><p style="text-align: center;">My mom loves Nickelback and Staind as well so for 2 of the Nickelback shows I took her and all o3 times I seen Staind I took her. She loved it and had a blast. She's not a big concert person anymore but it was nice to get her to them.</p><p style="text-align: center;">I took Lucas to his first concert last year but we had to leave to take Lee to the emergency room so he didn't get to see it. We had tickets to Brett michaels. I'm hoping to take him to KISS. He calls them blood guy and loves the, lol. Or Godsmack. </p><p style="text-align: center;">So far I have seen a wide variety of musicians. I'm going to try to list most of them. I've seen so many I know I will leave some out lol.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Ted Nugent (4x), Alice Cooper, Blessed Union of Souls, Nsync, 3LW, Staind (3x), Nickelback (4x), Three Days Grace (5x), Slayer, Mudvayne, Default, Jerry Cantrell (Alice in chains), Five Finger Death Punch, Linkin Park, The Used, Tool, Snoop Dogg, Kid Rock, Dierks Bentley, Chevelle, Saliva, Godsmack (2x), Tim McGraw, Luke Bryan, The Band Perry, Darius Rucker, Easton Corbin, Blake Shelton (2x), Brad Paisley, Justin Moore (3x), KISS (2x), Finch, Buck Cherry (2x), Tesla (2x), Sabastian Bach (skid row), Papa Roach. </p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;">I know there are more but I'm drawing a blank on some lol. Wish I could find my binder of tickets! </p><p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-10982845480733641722014-07-08T17:03:00.001-07:002014-07-08T17:03:27.507-07:00I'm the kind of girl<p> I'm the kind of girl who can lounge around in yoga pants and a comfy shirt, cuddle up on the couch with my book and a cup of coffee when I first wake up. Or cuddle up with a blanket and watch a movie at night. I'm the kind of girl who loves getting dressed up for a nice night out. I'm the kind of girl who loves dresses but also loves jeans and a tank. I'm the kind of girl that loves getting my nails done but doesn't mind getting them dirty. I'm the kind of girl who likes to kiss in the rain. I'm the kind of girl who enjoys hearing laughter from others. I'm the kind of girl who loves going out on a Sunday all decked out in my Lions gear to watch football, eat some greasy food and drink a beer! I'm the kind of girl who enjoys a good chick flick but would totally watch a gory scary movie after. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't mind going fishing, baiting a hook, and taking the fish off the line. I'm the kind of girl that loves being held when I need to cry. I'm the kind of girl who is independent but also likes to know that someone wants to take care of me. I'm the type of girl when I'm sick I want to be babied. I'm the type of girl who loves animals of any sort. I'm the kind of girl who has a big heart and loves with everything. I'm the kind of girl that wants kids all around me. I'm the kind of girl who is always there when someone needs me. I'm the kind of girl that when I need something know one is around. I'm the kind of girl that enjoys making someone happy.mim the kind of girl that loves to shop! Not just for myself but for others! I'm the kind of girl that is always thinking about other peoples feelings before my own. I'm the kind of girl who always thinks of others and puts others before myself. I'm the kind of girl that can always make other people happy but not myself. I'm the kind of girl that more than anything just wants to be happy. </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-88667859187368501862014-07-08T16:46:00.001-07:002014-07-08T16:46:41.171-07:00Different quotes
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> Just some quotes that I like that all hit home in some way or another. <br><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZK1cInKQsxq2WI-Ui5daNmykH7ZgeSJyqml_-f23lzNpKIiTUkMmsXAvvQzoEx6bQ7nJjVOb983oMVBJSXXLw7-r30lxpVkNDCJP0X5m7Z0QwfbX0FaBpVDFGq0SAAQSUzO91nYTpVR9/s473/Photo%25252020140707211547.jpg" target="_blank" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZK1cInKQsxq2WI-Ui5daNmykH7ZgeSJyqml_-f23lzNpKIiTUkMmsXAvvQzoEx6bQ7nJjVOb983oMVBJSXXLw7-r30lxpVkNDCJP0X5m7Z0QwfbX0FaBpVDFGq0SAAQSUzO91nYTpVR9/s473/Photo%25252020140707211547.jpg" target="_blank" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZK1cInKQsxq2WI-Ui5daNmykH7ZgeSJyqml_-f23lzNpKIiTUkMmsXAvvQzoEx6bQ7nJjVOb983oMVBJSXXLw7-r30lxpVkNDCJP0X5m7Z0QwfbX0FaBpVDFGq0SAAQSUzO91nYTpVR9/s473/Photo%25252020140707211547.jpg" id="blogsy-1404863105101.1763" class="alignleft" alt="" width="473" height="267"></a>
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<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-14781103905103209812014-07-05T08:11:00.001-07:002014-07-05T08:11:50.327-07:00It all went away
<p style="text-align: center;"> It just amazes me how you can go from being so close with someone to being on a level of speaking to each other with nothing but awkwardness. How does a 20 year friendship just disappear? </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> I never was the type of person to change myself for someone else. I didn't ditch my friends. I didn't change my personality, or the people I was friends with. Not only are you lying to yourself your lying to everyone else. If you can't be yourself around someone who says they love you, then they don't love the real you. They love the you that you became for them. Which isn't real. Eventually the real you comes out, then what? They either stay or leave. You could end up with nothing. You shouldn't have to be someone you aren't. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">We told each other everything, we did everything together. We could be somewhere and see something and look at each other and know exactly what we were both thinking. Knowing the past, all the memories, the good and the bad, being able to tell when something is wrong when others can't. Being there in a snap when you need to talk or are upset. Right by your side for everything. That's what friends are. Not someone who will be at the bar when you want to party. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">When your mom was dying who was up at the hospital all night with you right by your side. She was my second mom. I wanted to be there with you. Your my sister. You cried in my arms when they took her off life support. Went into work with no sleep, worried all day about you. Out of everyone during the funeral you wanted me right behind you. That means something!!! </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">We have been through so much together. You were there for me the night Dan went nuts with the gun and cops were called. Crap it was your cousin who defended me. You helped me pack up 2 cars of what I could fit the next day when I left him. You were right there with it all. I cried to you and vented to you. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">We have so many happy and fun memories. We definately have our share of bad ones also but we are more like sisters than best friends. Both on a full week off work and we seen each other once. ONCE!! And we barely spoke. Your birthday dinner hit me hard. You really don't care. You really don't care you are throwing 20 years of friendship away! How?? We are both god mothers to each others children, we were each others maid of honors, you were there when I delivered Lucas, you knew I was pregnant before Dan or my mom! How does this happen?? How does 20 years just slip away? </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I miss us. I miss our goofy inside jokes only we understood. I miss talking to you everyday, I miss hanging out with you. I don't know what happened. I hope this is a phase and it isn't to late when you realize the one real person you had in your life isn't there anymore. I don't want to lose you, but I can't just sit on the sidelines waiting for you. I want my sister, my best friend back. I want the real you back. Not the you that you have become. </p>
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<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-39864551606260530962014-07-05T07:42:00.001-07:002014-07-05T07:42:30.836-07:00A little too much info!<p> ~ I have a thing for bookmarks and ornaments! </p><p>~ Reading is my drug! If you know me you know that. It's an escape into another life, into another reality. </p><p>~ I wear only Victoria Secret bras and undies. They are super cute and amazingly comfy! I have am obsession with undies. </p><p>~ I'm nerdy in some ways. </p><p>~ Blue is my absolute favorite color, followed by pink of course</p><p>~ I'm a girly girl but I was always a tomboy growing up. I love guy stuff! I'm not your typical average girl.</p><p>~ I could eat Pizza everyday... Along with Mac n cheese! Yummm</p><p>~ Penguins are my fave Animal! Obsessed! Eeeeek!</p><p>~ I love any cute stuffed animal</p><p>~ Writing is a release for me. It's a way for me to release my thoughts, feelings, anger, depression etc...</p><p>~ I love taking pictures. Lucas hates it! Lol. I would love to go back into photography. Maybe take a class at Owens. </p><p>~ I lOVE anything superheroes. Movies, clothes, accessories anything! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman are by far my favorites! Always have been! </p><p>~ HUGE animal lover right here!</p><p>~ I like eating healthy. </p><p>~ But I love candy!</p><p>~ I hate pop. I don't let Lucas drink it, but on a rare occasion. I'd rather not have pop even in my house.</p><p>~ I'm an Irish girl, which means I'm a beer drinking girl!</p><p>~ Lucas is my life! I tend to be obsessed with him. Lol. But he's my one and only. Followed by Lucas is princess Harlie. She's my little fatty fat. Can't imagine not having her. I got her a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant.</p><p>~ I battle depression on a daily basis. Some days are worse than others, but most days I hide it pretty well. </p><p>~ my phone is my bad addiction. </p><p>~ I love shooting my bow!! It's so calming. One day I would love to go hunting.</p><p>~ I'm not a super adventurous person. I have a hard time with change and going out of my comfort zone but it doesn't stop me from trying new things. I wish I was more adventurous but when it comes down to it I'm a worrier and chicken shit lol.</p><p>~ country music is the shit!! </p><p>~ My shows...for now that is lol are. Criminal Minds, Chicago Fire, Decious Maids, Duck Dynasty, and Castle. Thank goodness for DVR because sometimes it takes me weeks to watch them!</p><p>~ Love sports! Football (Lions), baseball (tigers) hockey (red wings) basketball (celtics) </p><p>~ sports I participate in- baseball, basketball, football, soccer, tennis, basketball, golf, batting cages, shooting guns, shooting my bow, fishing, bowling, tennis, running, I'm down with it all! </p><p>~ I love playing video games!!! Especially fighting ones. Or shooting. I love mortal kombat! all the batman games! call of duty. I'll play any of them once. Racing games also! </p><p>~ My eye sight sucks. Supposed to wear glasses but I don't. </p><p>~ I'm a terrible passenger. Car or plane!</p><p>~ I've never really traveled anywhere. Been on one vacation and that was to Cancun. But I would love to do more. I want to just drive and not have it planned and make random stops and see where I end up and what I see. To me that would be fun! </p><p>~ A trip to the beach seems like a vacation. Laying on a blanket in the sun with a book. Heaven! </p><p>~ Ever since my dad can remember I have been obsessed with visiting the Rocky Mountains. Only in Colorado though. I have no clue why! Lol</p><p>~ I want to own a farm with tons and tons of animals! </p><p>~ I'm a dreamer. Bad... And I day dream.. I drift away and dream. All. The. Time. Lol</p><p>~. I hate having all eyes on me. Which is why I didn't want a big wedding. </p><p>~ I can't dance, nor have any attention learning. </p><p>~ I HATE bugs!!!!! </p><p>~ I'm a good friend, i would do anything for my friends, I just never seem to get that in return.</p><p>~ I want to take drum lessons.</p><p>~ I love to cook! I love trying new recipes. Every week I am trying a new one. </p><p>~ I really would love to have another baby. I wanted 3 and I have 1. But I will settle for 2. I think it will kill me later if I only have 1. It's not something I can get passed, that feeling, that longing for another child. Lucas wasn't planned. I don't eant to plan my next either. It's scarier planning one than not planning it! </p><p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-17804312718021008942014-07-05T07:41:00.001-07:002014-07-05T07:41:11.400-07:00Truth<p style="text-align: center;"> Thousands of words running through your mind. Questions that don't have any answers. The numb hollow feeling living inside your body day after day. Wishing, hoping, begging for some sort of normalcy. Faking a smile to please everyone around you. Knowing you can't begin to explain the thoughts piercing your soul. The feelings that rapidly run through your body. They wouldn't understand. Just look at you like your mad. Like something is wrong with you. There is. It's a deep sadness that you yourself doesn't even understand. That you don't even know how yo stop it or control it. You just want to scream, "do you think I enjoy this darkness? This sadness?" But you bottle these feelings up because what's the point? How will they understand when you don't? </p><p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-39061612865770449082014-07-04T09:08:00.001-07:002014-07-04T09:08:54.338-07:00What people don't understand <p> <font size="4">Having a child with ADHD pretty bad is hard enough to deal with at times. Having a child with other disorders makes it even harder. Lucas hasn't been fully evaluated yet but his pediatrician says mild Aspergers and (ASD) autistic spectrum disorder. </font></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5iSaJ0e0iLVUuUoyrR8oRbJa63tFzVtGzrY6iF0UFH9fWIaoEAYCVXqeCuAp1ukCcOkX6QLv5_3S-O_bp9TxHj4tC8y3BUdELCyPugrTquPG_YBqRs2gHpAeDGGStWfZMBGYYp5UGgqM_/s412/Photo%25252020140704120818.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5iSaJ0e0iLVUuUoyrR8oRbJa63tFzVtGzrY6iF0UFH9fWIaoEAYCVXqeCuAp1ukCcOkX6QLv5_3S-O_bp9TxHj4tC8y3BUdELCyPugrTquPG_YBqRs2gHpAeDGGStWfZMBGYYp5UGgqM_/s412/Photo%25252020140704120818.jpg" id="blogsy-1404490127151.5708" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="412" height="290"></a></div><p><font size="4"> Lucas has been on many different meds since he was diagnosed with ADHD. At first his dad and I tried not medicating him. We knew at an early age he had it because I have it as well. I didn't want to medicate him. I know how those meds make you feel and the side effects of them. Unfortunately it got to the point he was having issues in school and we had no other choice but to go with meds. Each med he was on had different side effects we didn't like. Some he had emotional outbursts, he would be so happy one minute then the next he would burst out in tears crying or get so mad and angry. I've never seen him like that. Some he won't eat on, he would be a walking zombie, he had twitches, sleeplessness. All sorts of different problems. He still needs different meds but the meds he's on now atleast he still can be a normal kid with. Hopefully they will eventually find one that works for him. </font></p><p><font size="4"> Lucas has very rough days. Which makes us all have rough days. He still needs his evaluation from the behavior center, they will run tests and try to diagnose him the best they can. He will need to be put into therapy. He has anger issues and needs to learn how to learn to deal with all that's going on in his head. He can be very hard to handle at times. His emotions take over him. And it's hard to calm him down. Last night during fireworks I had to pin him down put my hand on his chest, focused his eyes on mine and kept repeating calm down. I eventually got him calm. While you have everyone around you staring at you thinking it's because he's just a bad kid.... When it's not the issue at all. It's because he has medical problems and is to young to understand them. He hasn't learned how to deal with them. </font></p><p><font size="4"> I think that's one of the most irritating things of all. When Lucas is having a meltdown in public and people stare and whisper and I'm sure are thinking what a bad mom I am or how horrible my son is. When in all reality they don't understand what he has. Or don't understand what he feels when he's having these meltdowns. I have been working on not letting the stares get to me. It makes me angry and gets my temper going and that's when I start to get heated and well me heated isn't good because that leads to a fight. Not something I need. I just focus on Lucas and getting him calm and focused. I'm still learning everyday on how to handle him and how to bring him back to being calm. It may be difficult but I can't imagine how difficult it is for him. That's what I try to remind myself. I have to change he way I handle situations to his needs. Not change him. </font></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67TxT3msJ0-GEuE0MS0lpKFCgmqPtwPa20spmNy08iF-d730GmduTWIM8IXERR_nu4jkDLjQzieEBPlAm4zi6XjxPfMECKyw5kzZ9hoRFw0PPq3BsnqY3LHBPoH7XvAfB9rrpXWHhXugi/s236/Photo%25252020140704120818.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67TxT3msJ0-GEuE0MS0lpKFCgmqPtwPa20spmNy08iF-d730GmduTWIM8IXERR_nu4jkDLjQzieEBPlAm4zi6XjxPfMECKyw5kzZ9hoRFw0PPq3BsnqY3LHBPoH7XvAfB9rrpXWHhXugi/s236/Photo%25252020140704120818.jpg" id="blogsy-1404490127217.9744" class="alignnone" alt="" width="236" height="236"></a></div><p><font size="4"> Although Lucas has ADHD and ASD and most likely a mild form of Aspergers. I wouldn't trade any of it for a child who doesn't have any of it. He can be hard to handle and it does get stressful, but he's unique. He's mine. It makes it all worth while when he says "mommy" or gives me hugs and kisses. When we are walking anywhere he he puts his little hand in mine, when he cuddles up with me on the couch, or draws me pictures all the time telling me how much he loves me and what a great mom I am. That makes it all worth the hard times. He can't control what's wrong with him. I just want to guide him the right way and help him learn. I have a smart love able little boy who is the love of my life and stole my heart the minute the doctor handed him to me in the delivery room. </font></p><p><font size="4"> </font></p><br><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-52189129564030362622014-07-03T20:23:00.001-07:002014-07-03T20:23:51.644-07:00Throw back Thursday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><font size="5">Its fun looking back at all the pictures of the past and remembering all the memories and fun times. It always makes me sad seeing all Lucas's pictures from when he was little. I miss him being small, and it makes me realize how fast he's growing. But I do love looking back at all the fun things I've done with him and places I've taken him! </font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Qju8R8I5kSvTNdY0ugtn5Pyd3csFDg1qtFfZ3U5ptoC1vNGB-YrwxytEbCpeBGRIDjmmHkBq0vHs6bNOjWcB40cPGYovW240WaHuhMTX7jSZ0jUHf4pvCMTLCzEjaOQ6f45Nuo0pHPBL/s720/Photo%25252020140703122152.jpg" target="_blank" style=""><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Qju8R8I5kSvTNdY0ugtn5Pyd3csFDg1qtFfZ3U5ptoC1vNGB-YrwxytEbCpeBGRIDjmmHkBq0vHs6bNOjWcB40cPGYovW240WaHuhMTX7jSZ0jUHf4pvCMTLCzEjaOQ6f45Nuo0pHPBL/s309/Photo%25252020140703122152.jpg" id="blogsy-1404444022975.583" class="alignnone" alt="" width="309" height="413"></a></div><p> Lucas almost 3. So cute playing with his tool set! Oh how I wish I could go back to this age. So fun and curious!. I miss him being so little! </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE-nFEy4nHe1aKBQg2bO5ygNPTdp-VWEvF_e7dUlE6B0aLNB7tE5C-gb3o0lc3YOIQLGMAN29RbDnaGZP1TDJNeObpm1b57-Pg4hynRqfiuJ26bEBXq5Ox8XOD3JF_jIDvcJbUAsjRzpT9/s600/Photo%25252020140703122038.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE-nFEy4nHe1aKBQg2bO5ygNPTdp-VWEvF_e7dUlE6B0aLNB7tE5C-gb3o0lc3YOIQLGMAN29RbDnaGZP1TDJNeObpm1b57-Pg4hynRqfiuJ26bEBXq5Ox8XOD3JF_jIDvcJbUAsjRzpT9/s500/Photo%25252020140703122038.jpg" id="blogsy-1404444023045.6814" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="500"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">2 months after turning 2 years old. He was helping daddy with the yard work. So cute!!! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZDpLVG78VUTi4eCMCGtmkCyDS0y49IOhBgwSmxuZi-UegUeSyixWUpGHAJTILfHl_OYPzwJW___6hWtPW6OKLP7tX2YhGpeB_RpBIQacB8-vc2zLEKLArN4ZoTqFy1kJvD1sCzslU2ak6/s720/Photo%25252020140703122209.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZDpLVG78VUTi4eCMCGtmkCyDS0y49IOhBgwSmxuZi-UegUeSyixWUpGHAJTILfHl_OYPzwJW___6hWtPW6OKLP7tX2YhGpeB_RpBIQacB8-vc2zLEKLArN4ZoTqFy1kJvD1sCzslU2ak6/s386/Photo%25252020140703122209.jpg" id="blogsy-1404444023022.4692" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="386" height="515"></a></div><p> First day of preschool!. My big boy! 5 years old off to preschool at Regina Coeli. How adorable he looked!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNRaYuEklrL2epjlwhty-gFSfJDX9-Oos05Mgb-NbURObMZLYmRe2nS7IQInmpcM1Ta_GX4pZYzFFpmcJHRrs0FvdiOZsdUNstBwAyaPT83YANGiqYmmZG92XTUw3QyJJ5Gf4XnFeXbCXB/s720/Photo%25252020140703122209.jpg" target="_blank" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNRaYuEklrL2epjlwhty-gFSfJDX9-Oos05Mgb-NbURObMZLYmRe2nS7IQInmpcM1Ta_GX4pZYzFFpmcJHRrs0FvdiOZsdUNstBwAyaPT83YANGiqYmmZG92XTUw3QyJJ5Gf4XnFeXbCXB/s500/Photo%25252020140703122209.jpg" id="blogsy-1404444023061.2786" class="alignright" alt="" width="500" height="667"></a></div><p> </p><p> Karate boy!.. Lucas loved karate! This was also taken when he was 5. I'm hoping to put him back into it if I con him into it lol. </p><p> </p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCWMSziTCMhgwuQbUhrajpFGWpRwxceR0j_Spu2tKgSKZXskuKyWGa786hPV5aUgOHkhU7kyvWh1qmRW5A2zz_aVexNPsjcSLtfUQks54QPGxp9Defez_gkpYxS7fsmNZXLs_x_VLqXd7C/s960/Photo%25252020140703121741.jpg" target="_blank" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCWMSziTCMhgwuQbUhrajpFGWpRwxceR0j_Spu2tKgSKZXskuKyWGa786hPV5aUgOHkhU7kyvWh1qmRW5A2zz_aVexNPsjcSLtfUQks54QPGxp9Defez_gkpYxS7fsmNZXLs_x_VLqXd7C/s500/Photo%25252020140703121741.jpg" id="blogsy-1404444023032.9287" class="alignleft" alt="" width="500" height="375"></a></div><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Preschool graduation was so cute! They all dressed in red white and blue and sang songs. The they recieved their preschool diploma. After that they had ice cream sundaes for everyone, played a DVD of all the kids pictures throughout the year, and even handed one to all the parents! So cute!</p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifm39pPZG1bin17rcjDHMw5ly4wrrMxPxaqb0iQio4sUgzQMEotMoh2YpWN3J8oqZaW0Rs2TNfFGdKvfAdm5gt7xMF0aQSp16QYKXpPXxUEfblbrqjZiaFLRML7bmxOQYAsLmHrY03Kc8I/s960/Photo%25252020140703121741.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifm39pPZG1bin17rcjDHMw5ly4wrrMxPxaqb0iQio4sUgzQMEotMoh2YpWN3J8oqZaW0Rs2TNfFGdKvfAdm5gt7xMF0aQSp16QYKXpPXxUEfblbrqjZiaFLRML7bmxOQYAsLmHrY03Kc8I/s500/Photo%25252020140703121741.jpg" id="blogsy-1404444023022.6194" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="375"></a></div><p> My 26th birthday present from Lee. Detroit Lions tickets!!! They played the 49ers. Amazing game! Best game out of all sports by far I been to!! Had an amazing time. Love my Lions!!! </p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinHqC9D9f60Ew06r7AIIr0upPghC8BMuwC9s2DjtJGZneAiL_G0Sv5kLwn6Vil6Xh0QXbDeSbYHVGUgjkdr65lnveezMWvMv87ogWphIhJXl2wzocoupK57x9HHUVsYmzIv9tbbv7Jobr-/s720/Photo%25252020140703121729.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinHqC9D9f60Ew06r7AIIr0upPghC8BMuwC9s2DjtJGZneAiL_G0Sv5kLwn6Vil6Xh0QXbDeSbYHVGUgjkdr65lnveezMWvMv87ogWphIhJXl2wzocoupK57x9HHUVsYmzIv9tbbv7Jobr-/s500/Photo%25252020140703121729.jpg" id="blogsy-1404444023061.6062" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="375"></a></div><p style="text-align: center;">Lucas and I picking strawberries! Something different and fun to do. He had so much fun! He was 4 here. </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-161771416652862592014-07-02T15:04:00.001-07:002014-07-02T15:04:41.830-07:00Reading list for the summer
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><font size="5">So many books... I could consume my days with books. It let's me escape reality and opens up a whole new world that I can explore with just a flip of a page. Open your mind and take an adventure. Sometimes I get in the mood to read a chic book. Where it makes me all giddy and takes me away to that fairy tale love that gets most girls. Lol. Yeah even though I'm not a typical girl, I still like that fairy tale love story. Sometimes I want a non fiction book, or crime/thriller, maybe even a sy-fyi book. Everyone has their preference. I read all along the map.</font></div>
<p><font size="5"> So far this is the list I have come up with that I just HAVE to read! </font></p>
<p><font size="5"><br></font></p>
<p><font size="4"> If I Stay by: Gayle Forman</font></p>
<p><font size="4"> Looking for Alaska by: John Green</font></p>
<p><font size="4">Where She Went by: Gayle Forman</font></p>
<p><font size="4">Once Upon a Secret: My Affair with President John F. Kennedy by: Mimi Alford</font></p>
<p><font size="4">11/22/63 by: Stephen King</font></p>
<p><font size="4">Claim me by: J. Kenner </font></p>
<p><font size="4">Complete Me by: J. Kenner </font></p>
<p><font size="4">The City by: Dean Koontz</font></p>
<p><font size="4">Flowers in Attic by: V.C Andrews</font></p>
<p>Petals on the Wind by: V.C Andrews</p>
<p> If there be Thorns by: V.C Andrews</p>
<p>Seeds of Yesterday by: V.C Andrews</p>
<p>Garden of Shadows by: V.C Andrews</p>
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<p>Paper Towns by: John Green</p>
<p>An a Abundance of Katherine's by: John Green</p>
<p>Labor Day by: Joyce Maynard</p>
<p>Leaving Time by: Jodi Picoult </p>
<p>Dark Witch by: Nora Roberts</p>
<p>Shadow Spell by: Nora Roberts</p>
<p>Blood Magick by: Nora Roberts</p>
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<p> <span style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 1.3em;">Trust me. I'm sure there are more. And many more I will come by or Others that I'll pick up because I just HAVE to have it and skip some on the list. It's what I do. And also depends on the type of book I'm in the mood for. Take my advice. Figure out your type of book and give it a try. What's the worst thing that could happen? You don't like it and you waisted a little bit of time that would've probably been waisted on tv anyways? :)</span></p>
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<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-81543092738288482352014-06-30T19:10:00.001-07:002014-06-30T19:10:25.285-07:00Happy this week
<p><font size="7">Happy this week</font></p>
<p> <font size="4">It's nice to looks back and reflect on the week in a positive note. Everyone has negative and upsetting moments. Sometimes we are so consumed by the negative that we forget to focus on the positive.</font></p>
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<p><font size="4"> </font><span style="font-size: medium; line-height: 1.3em;">**On the 21st Lee and I went and seen Chevelle down at the HollyWood Casino. GREAT show! Chevelle was amazing!! Perfect weather it was cool out. Some drizzle during the last 2 songs but didn't even notice since I was to busy enjoying the show! And of course Pete was hot! </span><br></p>
<p> <font size="3">**Saturday Lee, the kids and I, Wendy, Chris, Helen and her boys all went out on the boat. Drank some beer, anchored the boat and did some swimming, and went tubing. It was so much fun. The came back the the camper and cooked out, drank, had a fire, kids fished (Lucas caught a catfish!) made s'mores, and hung out. All the kids came back to our house. Had a great time. It was very much needed to get out, let loose, and have some fun!</font></p>
<p><font size="3"> ** Walked along the beach, sat along the shore listening to the water crash the shore. Then Went driving around saw some cranes, well a bunch of cranes, through a few different parks. It was rainy out but still made the best of it. Stopped off at one park and had a blast skipping rocks. Something so simple that is just so fun! It's so nice to get out and enjoy the little things in life. Would've stayed longer if the damn horseflies didn't eat us alive! One of the best days I have had in a long time.!</font></p>
<p><font size="3"> ** Took Lucas off the meds that were making him sleepy all day with just a dash (yeah right how about a ton lol) of whinniness and attitude and put him back on his old meds. The first day of being back on old meds he was my happy boy again. We were standing in line at Rite Aid Wednesday and he just gives me the biggest hug and says "I love my mommy" that's all I need to melt my heart. I cherish those moments. All the rough days we have I'll take for the moments like those, they make it all worth while!</font></p>
<p><font size="3"> **Watching Lucas play, scream, and have a blast in the pool. Alone! Lol. He was having the time of his life!</font></p>
<p><font size="3"> ** Great conversation with a good friend. </font></p>
<p><font size="3"> **Taking a full day and doing nothing but laying on the couch watching hallmark movies all day! Never get days like that for myself! </font></p>
<p><font size="3"> **Lucas and I getting invited for a Detroit Tigers Game with a good friend and his daughter! Our favorite baseball team, my first time at Comerica park and Lucas's first Tigers game! Super excited!</font></p>
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<p><font size="3">What made you happy this week? </font></p>
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<div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-45707629031536216312013-05-24T12:39:00.001-07:002013-05-24T12:39:10.136-07:00Throwback Thursday!<p> So I did my blog yesterday and forgot to hit publish lol.</p>
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<p>Throw back Thursday! Here are some pics from the past. I get sad some times looking at all the pictures from when Lucas was younger! But I love looking at them and remembering how much fun we had!</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8806508373/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8534/8806508373_0d45cb56d2_n.jpg" id="blogsy-1369424350500.907" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="320" height="320"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Here is Lucas when we were potty training him. He was just waking up from his nap. He was 2 here.</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8806508963/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3769/8806508963_0ede09d3e0.jpg" id="blogsy-1369424350464.1196" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="500"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Daddy and Lucas putting in my flower bed. He was so cute wanting to help! I need to send this to his dad lol</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8817094860/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7336/8817094860_90ce283c2e_n.jpg" id="blogsy-1369424350504.9905" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="312" height="250"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We had family pictures done for his 2 yr pictures at JCP. Here is one of Lucas and I. I love is picture. Looks weird seeing me in glasses!</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8817095300/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8404/8817095300_5b4f74d625_n.jpg" id="blogsy-1369424350490.921" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="305" height="244"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Lucas's one year pictures. Is is my absolute favorite!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8806510879/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2851/8806510879_ddfb7e9043.jpg" id="blogsy-1369424350478.3796" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="374"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Mandy and I 5 years ago at her Halloween party. She was a French maid and I was a candy nurse! Wow we look different. We both are skinnier now!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8817096900/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8406/8817096900_a737b37c91_z.jpg" id="blogsy-1369424350557.893" class="aligncenter" width="451" height="604" alt=""></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Lucas and Lex playing Horse the first fall Lee and I were together. Back in 2009</div>
<p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-46072966196623542142013-05-17T19:06:00.001-07:002013-05-17T19:06:07.068-07:00Happy this week <p> I got the idea from my favorite former teachers. I follow her blog and she does Happy this week every week. She writes all the different things that made her happy during the week. She has the most incredible stories. I just love reading what she has to say! So I figured I'd start!</p>
<p> This week was a really good week. </p>
<p> I had a fantastic Mother's Day!!! Although I had to work. (What else is new!) when I came home Lee and a Lucas really made my day! They really showed how much they appreciated me! I walked downstairs to get ready for work and Lee had a bouquet of daisies in a vase on the breakfast bar. When I came home he had 3 small gift bags with cards around the vase of flowers. So I opened up all my cards (4) lol then Lucas handed me one bag which was a bead for his birthstone for my bracelet. Then there was one for Lexi's, the last bag had a best mom charm (Lucas picked out by himself) and the Lions charm I had been wanting. So then my phone rings and I go to answer it and there was a sweet ass Detroit Lions case!.. Then Lee had a towel covering the stepping stones they made me so I couldn't tell what they were. They turned out amazing!!!! Best I've seen yet! Lucas made me a question book about mom in school. The answers are real cute lol, he also made me a flower all made out of his finger print with a poem, and planted a seed in small flower pot. They spoiled me! Then we did ice cream and ordered pizza. I wanted to stay in, all I do is work so being home was just what I wanted!</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8748594967/" target="_blank" style=""><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8541/8748594967_fb8a3fd5ea.jpg" id="blogsy-1368842768215.8853" class="alignnone" alt="" width="500" height="375"></a></div>
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<p> We also got all dressed up he was in a tie! Haha and I was in one of my favorite dresses I recently bought. And we went to his buddy's wedding.</p>
<p> Thursday it was gorgeous out! So we took the kids out for Mexican and ate on the patio. We all had a good time smashing on great food and goofing off. I needed that. I don't get that often anymore!</p>
<p> I've had a really good week. I'm getting used to working 7 days a week without a day off. I'm still tired but I think next week I may be FINALLY ready to start unpacking lol. Sad, real sad! Been here a month and Lee has done most of it lol!</p>
<p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2280716763681715729.post-49699366543199560222013-05-17T01:57:00.001-07:002013-05-17T01:57:28.118-07:00Flashback Thursday<p>Pics from the past</p>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8746237325/" target="_blank" style=""><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8550/8746237325_4b4f8a75c5_z.jpg" id="blogsy-1368781048385.51" class="alignnone" alt="" width="451" height="604"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: none;">Lee and Lucas our first Halloween together. Lucas was still in diapers.. Omg! I miss this age! Lucas was so grossed out by putting his hand in the pumpkin guts he just sat in my lap and watched lol. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8747358452/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; "><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8554/8747358452_1975f39a86.jpg" id="blogsy-1368781048340.2004" class="aligncenter" alt="" width="500" height="375"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Lucas's Thomas the Train faze. He was so obsessed with Thomas! He had everything Thomas! He was 2 1/2 in this pic. So adorable!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80154830@N05/8746237669/" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7310/8746237669_3780435cfc.jpg" id="blogsy-1368781048378.016" class="aligncenter" width="500" height="329" alt=""></a></div>
<p> Lucas and his dad. I want my baby back! So tiny and handsome!!... His first year at the Renaissance Festival. That year the queen blessed him, it was so cool! He was only 4 mths here and I just love this picture!! </p>
<p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" alt="Posted with Blogsy" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" height="20" />Posted with Blogsy</a></div>NickatNitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617028517829102614noreply@blogger.com0